Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Psy-"Kicks"


I discovered a newspaper clipping from the Jan 3rd, 1978 National Inquirer tucked away in an old photo album. (my wife must have bought this thing) The clipping is the entire two page Predictions for 1978 by the top 10 psychics in the country. How they are judged to be the top 10 is not explained, but based on some of the predictions they must have been chosen on a scale representing the most outrageous predictions.

Here are some that are not so outrageous, but might have been predicted by any sweat hog in Mr. Kotter’s 1978 under-achiever class. Vinnie Barbarino or Arnold Horshack could have done as well:

Elizabeth Taylor will divorce. (duh...her 7th divorce didn’t happen until 1982, from John Warner)
Earthquake in Iran in July (Iran has an earthquake every couple years since 1947..safe bet), Columbia in August, and Hawaii in September. (none happened, although Iran had one in September ’78..close don’t count in Psychic Prognostications)
Researchers will develop a pill to prevent baldness (it wasn’t predicted that it would work; I think they’re still developing pills) (Velcro was first marketed in ’78 and could help in holding a good wig in place)

Outrageous Predictions:
A thought-mobile will be introduced by GM that will be controlled by the driver’s thought waves. (that may be why they are in trouble today...too much R&D money on this thing)
Elizabeth Taylor will enter politics, become an ambassador and settle the Israeli/Arab conflict. (has the Israeli/Arab conflict been going on that long? What’s that..about 30 years..plus or minus 3000?)
Henry Kissinger will be called back into service to settle the Mid-East conflict. (You’d think between Henry and Liz something ought to get fixed)
Kristy McNichol star of "Family" will make a hit record and become a singing star. (This Psychic got Kristy mixed up with Miley Cyrus...and 30 years too soon.)
Jacqueline Bisset star of "The Deep" will become America’s No.1 sex symbol. (that actually did happen ...but Alas, evidently I was the only one who knew!)
Japanese scientists will develop..a cheap adapter that would enable one to pick-up TV broadcasts from around the world. (I think that would be called a "computer"...but it’s not so cheap,..in my opinion, and didn’t come close to happening in 1978.)
Elvis Presley’s body will be kidnapped and held for $1,000,000.00 ransom. (didn’t happen..but no one predicted that Charlie Chaplin’s remains would be stolen in March ‘78 and held for 600,000 Swiss Franc reward. Culprits were caught and body returned.)
Muhammad Ali will suffer a heart attack in the ring and retire. (no one predicted Leon Spinks would be the one that would take Ali’s title..in 15 rounds Feb 15th. Ali didn’t retire and won back the title in a September rematch)

On our journey through the Bible this year we found quite a story. It is in 2 Chronicles Chapter 18. Wicked King Ahab of the Northern Kingdom (Israel) sought an alliance with good King Jehoshaphat of the Southern Kingdom (Judah). Jehoshaphat acquiesced and agreed to join in battle against the Syrians to recover a city that had been lost. King Ahab gathered 400 of the leading "psychics" of his day to inquire if he’d be successful in this endeavor. After 400 "yes-men" said "go...get ‘em, Tiger", Jehoshaphat sensed an un-holy harmonious unanimity and asked if there were any others that might have a "Word...from the Lord". Ahab reluctantly said "yes...there is one other, but I don’t like him because he never has anything good to say about me". So..they sent for Micaiah, the Prophet. The "gofer" attempted to vet Micaiah's message by telling him about the 400 psychics and how they, in one voice, agreed that the Kings should do this battle and Micaiah would do well to say the same thing. Micaiah said, "..what my God says that will I speak."

Here’s what Micaiah told King Ahab: "The Lord seeks your demise by way of these 400 lying "psychics". Believe them...go to battle... and be defeated and killed." The short version.."he did, he went and he was"! Before he left for battle, King Ahab threw Micaiah in jail until he returned safely. Ahab didn’t come back safely. A soldier fired a random arrow into the air, it fell to earth...the Lord knew where. It struck King Ahab in a small-unprotected area of his armor...the sliver of space between the breastplate and scales of armor...and he bled to death. The Chronicler does not tell of the vindication of Micaiah. The story..leaves him in jail for telling the truth of the matter.

What a lesson this is for today’s Pastors and Teachers..and, for that matter, all of us. "What the Lord says...that will I speak"....no matter the consequences.

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